Wednesday Poem-Yesterday

Talking about Weight Watchers makes me think about this poem I wrote a while ago.  When I was younger, my late teens, I would get upset and not eat all my regular meals.  Also I got a Women’s Studies certificate from Portland State University.  In my Women’s Studies classes eating disorders were discussed.  I wrote this poem in reaction to these two factors and our culture in general.  A special thanks to Coral Short of the zine Riot Grrrl Vancouver for publishing my poetry and having me read at one of their shows. 

At the show I remember I was scared to read.  It was one of the biggest crowds I had ever performed for-still is.  Some poets have read in between bands playing I hadn't before. 

So imagine this-first I meet a woman at a show at the Clinton St. Theater where I read.  Her name is Coral Short and she buys one of my chapbooks.  She asks if I would come up to Vancouver BC to read?  I say yes. I go to Vancouver BC with my friend Suzanne. We meet up with Coral at a community center.  There are about 150 people there in the audience.  Tickle Trunk, a band, plays. I go up on stage after being introduced.  The audience is sitting on the floor.  I read Spoon Fed Our Daily Dose of Violence.  They scream and applaud. It felt like a roar that many people applauding.  It was amazing!  I read for about 20 minutes.  I have about 30 copies of two of my chapbook titles and I sell all of them.  Kids come up and talk to me afterwards.  I’ll post the picture from the show tomorrow.  This reading is one of my perfect days.  My wedding day is another. 

Here's the poem:

Yesterday I Remembered What It was to Feel Full

Hunger kicks in and I deny it’s call.

It’s another fear, fear of fat, fear of so-called ugliness.

So I hear instead the media’s call to be bone thin,

to make up,

to thin down,

to diet,

to starve,

to poke pills,

to teeter on heels and to know no matter how close to a fashion plate

I am that that plate is empty and time will always beat that

so-called beauty.