Laural Winter

Monday Poem

I watch Perry Mason at Noon on Mondays, my day off.  I also watch Perry Mason if I am home sick. It is a drama with a defense lawyer as the main character. He loses only one case. The series was on tv from 1957-1966. The costumes are beautiful.  The actors are great.  Sometimes you can see famous actors play characters on the series like William Shatner, Adam West among others. I love it!  So I wrote a poem about it.  I like being able to write a poem about something fun.

Perry Mason

I wish things were simplier

shades of black and white.

Delia Street my secretary

and Paul Drake my handsome

private eye.

And our culture still took the longview of careers:

District Attorney Burger wouldn't be fired even though every one of

his hearings is a trumped up charge against the innocent.

He is wrong everytime

and not fired.

Things were simplier.

You were either incompetent,

irrelevant,

or immaterial.

Blackmail,

murder,

and double indeminity

were par for the course

were commonplace.

Let me pray at the altar

of Perry Mason

to bring us,

faith,

justice,

and

a get out of jail free card.

Because we deserve it,

because things are a shade of black and white,

and a steak dinner with a joke against adversity

is the ultimate reward.

I just read the book Century girl : 100 years in the life of Doris Eaton Travis, last living star of the Ziegfeld Follies by Lauren Redniss.

Have you ever felt like life is boring? Or there isn't enough to do? Well, Doris Eaton Travis gave me hope. This is a woman who is still living well into her hundreds and has recreated her life many times. At age 14 Doris became a Ziegfeld Follies' dancer. Later she became a manager of Arthur Murray Dance Studios. She raised turkeys. She wrote a newspaper column. And she got her degree in history at age 88. She also outlived all of her six siblings. Besides the fact that she has led a very interesting life her biography is eyecatching as well. The biography is told through a scrapbooking collage style. It is a visual stunner. I really don't want to return this book to the library which means I will have to buy it. I am a firm believer in my librarian friend Rivkah Sass's saying "'Own the best, borrow the rest. Use the library to find out which books you want to own." Typically I check out a book from the library and if I love the book then I have to buy it.

Other book news my friend Blake Nelson's book Girl has a new edition with a new cover!  Better cover in my humble opinion.  The girl on the cover actually looks like she could be the character in the novel. 

Monday Poem-Haunted House

I lived in this house when I was seven until I was about twelve years old.  I believed it was haunted.  I don't believe in ghosts now.  At the time I had nightmares and I also had strep throat every year.  Both fever dreams and nightmares fueled my belief in ghosts.

In the back yard there was a lovely cherry tree that had a very large branch that sloped above the ground about four feet.  It was perfect to sit upon and imagine one was riding a horse.  I also imagined I was Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie  when  I hung from this branch. The house was okay when I wasn't ill or scared of it.

Here's a poem about the nightmares I had in this house. A little background info: I was a Christian when I was younger and info about Chrissie Dolls can be found here.

Jesus Christ User

"Get out of here in the name of Jesus Christ!" I scream.

And the polar bear sits upon my chest.

"Get out of here in the name of Jesus Christ!" I howl.

And the Chrissie doll does her voodoo dance.

Get out of here in the name of Jesus Christ,

I yell,

I chant,

and I holler.

The howling scream waxes and wanes upon my brain as I mouth the sacred name.

Jesus Christ worked time and time again against the menacing ghosts of my childhood past.

Jesus Christ no longer works.

Writing

I don't know if you noticed but in my poem Bravado Under the Skin and yesterday's poem I Roar there are references to other songs.  I Roar is my nod to my love of Helen Reddy's song I am Woman. I loved this song when I was a little girl.  It made me smile though I didn't understand all the words. The actual title of the poem is the reference to the song. Also I love Queen's song We are Champions of the World. I like thinking we are all champions.  I love this idea.  Interestingly enough I didn't plan for these references.  They just happened as I was writing the poems.  The poems play me. I just write them down.  Then I edit them a few days later. Ever feel like that when you write a poem?

Pretend it's Monday-Monday Poem

Well, I forgot to put a poem up yesterday.  I had a good day meeting my friends Deanne and Tatiana at the McMenamin's Chapel Pub. It is a very cozy place in North Portland.  And of course they have the cajun spiced tater tots.  You might want to check it out.  It used to be a funeral home.  Then it was off to a surprise birthday party at Kell's Irish Pub for Peter's friend and co-worker Hugh.  If you like Scotch they have quite a variety.  And if you like Irish food they have a very good Irish fare.  We ate great food, had great conversations and had fun.  I had to watch Heroes when I got home and visit the cats I am catsitting-so I plum forgot!  And I would love to add a picture but this mouse needs to be replaced.  I know whine whine.

Monday Poem:

I Roar

Yeah yeah yeah

we have heard it all:

your parents were confused,

time heals,

you are alive-

but they didn’t take us alive

we are half alive:

fists held ready, head tilted, chin tucked, feet firm, grim lined lips, heart held-

but I am losing track of what I am trying to say

and this path of these types of words has been traversed by me too many times.

I know deep down in my bones:

I am strong

I have survived

The word victim says to me now death or injury.

So, if I say I am a victim,

I was a victim,

I fall with weak

crippled by a past

chained by circumstance.

I am saying I am an unhealed, unhealthy, gaping wound for any worthless soul to rub his salt upon.

But may I say I will no longer relish my self pitying piece or diminish my strength.

No salt,

no wounds,

whole,

healthy,

strong,

whip tight,

unbroken,

finally me.

Autumn and October

The rain and leaves changing has begun in Portland.  It is dark when the alarm goes off. And the house is cooler.  I feel I can't say cold I have to wait until the temperatures are really lower than say 40.  Otherwise cold becomes overplayed in my vocabulary usage. I also have stopped complaining outloud about the cooler temperatures because I will drive the people I am around the most CRAZY with complaining.

This reminds me of the movie I Heart Huckabees which I watched the other night. It had an all star cast: Jude Law, Dustin Hoffman, Lily Tomlin, Jason Schwartzman, Naomi Watts, and Isabelle Hubbert etc. It was good.  It wasn't great-the pacing was off or something.  It was interesting that they discussed philosophical issues.  Costumes were really quite nice especially Lily Tomlin's outfits. Anyway back to complaining outloud.  Jason Schwartzman's character gets very angry and the audience gets to hear the cursing going on in his thoughts. We sometimes hear the cursing in his head and sometimes outloud.  So when I get complainee about the weather I have to remember to use my inside voice not the outloud voice.  Understand? Have a great day! I am hoping for sunshine.

I have come a long way-Monday poem.

Uncertain Smile

The dreams were murdered and I put my mind in the closet for years.

Traded it all for tears.

Tears were the only expression allowed,

quietly anyway.

Perhaps you have no idea or sadly you totally understand.

So, excuse me, I am just now learning to speak.

To say what I think.

I used to mumble,

stutter, and mostly,

almost completely

be silent.

For my grandmother

Laurella

Leaves persist finding their way to the ground.

The sun continues to grace the sky.

And I still awake finding you absent from this place called earth.

Words left unsaid.

Affection unbroached.

I feel slighted by the pace of life.

Rain doesn't stutter any less upon the glass.

Children don't pause in their laughter.

The fridge continues its cacaphony of gurgles and hums

much to my dismay.

All a slap in the face of my despair,

of my missing you.

Knowing I will never stop missing you

because you have lost your place

your step

your laughter

on our little humble planet called us.

Blue Goldstone necklace

This summer I did quite a bit of crafting.  I started knitting again.  I made a button bracelet.  I made some necklaces. Right now I am working on curtains. The favorite thing I made was a blue goldstone necklace.  I used the wire wrapping technique for putting the necklace together.  I love wire wrapping (not around the beads) but to connect the beads.  It is relaxing or more relaxing than knitting for me.  I have been working with beads since 1992.  The first bead shop I went to was General Bead in San Francisco.  My friend Marina and I went to visit our friends Susan and Keath in San Francisco.  Susan taught Marina and I to work with beads. And I haven't stopped since!

Giant Library Card! Stumptown Comics Fest

Saturday I was staffing the Multnomah County Library table at the Stumptown Comics Fest(www.stumptowncomics.com). As a librarian I get to do outreach from time to time.  One of my favorite outreach activities is staffing a booth at this event.  I had a splendid time talking to members of the public about library topics and talking to artists and merchants at their booths. Here's a picture of me with our giant library card.  I have on my happy face -meaning I squint.  I was very happy to be there.  You can see more festival pictures here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tugboatpress/1470205737/in/photostream/